talmou

Michael Deacon 
 How to speak woke: a glossary of the modern Left

Your essential guide to all today’s hottest progressive buzzwords 
Have you ever wanted to be a Labour MP, Left-wing pundit or progressive activist? If so, you’ll need to learn the language first. Because, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, such roles entail the use of all manner of fascinating jargon.

Here, then, is your essential guide to the modern Left’s favourite words and phrases – and what they really mean.

Culture warrior. Anyone who attempts to resist, or even to question, Left-wing efforts to impose radical change on our culture. As in: “I’m sick of Right-wing culture warriors trying to claim that convicted rapists should not be placed in women’s prisons just because they’ve put on a pair of pink leggings and some lipstick.”

Diversity. Conformity. As in: “Here in the arts world, we think it’s vital to promote diversity. And that’s why all of us, regardless of our ethnicity, faith, sexual orientation or gender identity, hold identical opinions about every political issue.”

Divisive rhetoric. Any statement which is factually true but politically inconvenient. As in: “By informing the public that Afghan men are over 20 times more likely to commit sex crimes than British men, the Tories are engaging in the most appallingly divisive rhetoric.”

Dog whistle. Any mention of a subject that the Left a) doesn’t want to talk about, and b) thinks no one else should be allowed to talk about. As in: “Drawing attention to the rape of thousands of working-class girls in dozens of towns across Britain is a racist dog whistle.”

Genocide. Fighting back when someone starts a war with you. As in: “Israel is committing genocide. Just like the Allies committed genocide in the Second World War, by bombing Germany.”

Marginalised. Celebrated. As in: “Trans people are one of the country’s most marginalised groups. As you can tell from the fact that an LGBTQIA+ Pride festival is held somewhere in Britain almost every single weekend between February and November.”

Our communities. All communities except the British. As in: “The sight of a British person flying the British flag in a British town can be extremely distressing to our communities.”

Satire. Topical comedy which fearlessly holds the Government’s critics to account. As in: “Led By Donkeys produce the most brilliantly coruscating satire. It’s about time someone was brave enough to make fun of Liz Truss.”

Weaponising. The use of any fact which undermines the Left’s position. As in: “Nigel Farage is weaponising the murder of Henry Nowak by shamefully letting the public know that, in March 2025, the National Police Chiefs’ Council published a Police Anti-Racism Commitment which said officers should not treat everyone ‘the same’ or be ‘colour-blind’.”

Woman. Man.

Should Britain copy Singapore’s crime crackdown?

Singapore has announced that any bus passenger blasting out music from his or her phone will be fined S$500 (£295). Quite right, too. But, while there is much to admire in Singapore’s famously stringent approach to tackling antisocial behaviour, I must confess that some of its laws puzzle me. Consider the following. If you fail to flush a public lavatory after use, you will be issued with an on-the-spot fine of S$150 (£89).

In principle, I support the authorities’ stance. But I do have one small question.

How exactly do they monitor this particular crime?

Do they, for example, station an armed guard inside every lavatory cubicle in the land, 24 hours a day, to check that each user in turn observes the correct flushing procedure, and immediately fine any who fail to do so? That would certainly add new meaning to the old Scottish expression “gardy loo”. Incidentally, imagine if that was your job.

“Evening, darling. Good day at work?”

“Not really, no.”

Alternatively, perhaps they use cameras. Deep inside every public building, crack security men surveil vast banks of screens, and occasionally bark: “Non-flusher in Cubicle 7! Send in the SWAT team!”

As I say, I don’t know the answer, because I’ve never been to Singapore. But now I think about it, maybe it’s best if I never do. Here in Britain, our buses may be bursting with obnoxious yobs. But at least, when you answer nature’s call, you can be reasonably sure that MI5 isn’t listening in.
Bisexual healing

Samantha Niblett – the Labour MP best-known for trying to organise a nationwide “Summer of Sex”, and urging Parliament to host an exhibition of dildos – is at it again. On Wednesday she produced a special video for Instagram, in which she alerted us to the news that she is attracted not just to men, but to women.

“Hello,” she purred. “Did you know that September 23 is Bi Visibility Day? Well, here I am, being visible. Are you?”

As a matter of fact, no, I’m not. Because every time I see Samantha Niblett, I hide behind the nearest sofa.

Anyway, after enjoying her Summer of Sex, Miss Niblett must be wondering what she can have a winter of. I dread to think.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/09/26/how-to-speak-woke-a-glossary-of-the-modern-left/